Dear Dave

Friday 5 December 2008

The parable of the chocolate Santa

Dear Dave,

The nursery organised their usual fund-raising festive raffle last week. Parents were asked to donate groceries for a Christmas hamper and we were then sold tickets at a rate of five for a pound. At the end of the week, the tickets were put in a hat, a single winner was drawn and one lucky family got the entire stash.

The hamper was left on display in the hallway outside the nursery door and, as the week went on, it gradually began to fill with all manner of delights. There were packets of biscuits, bottles of wine, jars of jam, noodles, teabags, canned soup and, bizarrely, three tins of peas. Apart from the peas, it all looked delicious.

Perhaps too delicious...

You see, the nursery is attached to the primary school and school kids frequently walk by on the way to the toilet. At home-time on the Thursday it became clear that one of these children had seen a crafty opportunity - a chocolate Santa poked clear of the other items in the hamper, his head cleanly removed, as if a child had taken a big gulp in passing, silver foil and all.

When told about it, my boys were impressed. Robin Hood had daringly snatched a share of the loot. The whole idea made them fall about laughing.

That's to say, it did... until we won the raffle. At that point, they were suddenly overcome with righteous indignation. They wanted their chocolate Santa, no matter that carrying home the remaining contents of the hamper was still nearly enough to kill me and that our shelves are now overflowing with tasty treats (and canned peas). They wanted the Sheriff of Nottingham called in to deliver retribution and compensation.


I think this may explain rather a lot about the world.

Merry Christmas,



Mockingbird said...

Oh my......! That's my good giggle for the day..... Ed, I honestly don't understand why your book hasn't yet been swooped on by all the publishers at once..... A good giggle is the perfect cure for the BBC News....

Gwen said...

Ah! A nice illustration of a principle that I TRY to use to run my life. Whenever my mind proposes a rule that should apply to everyone EXCEPT me or one that should ONLY apply to me and no one else, then I reminde myself that it is not, in actuality, a good rule... No matter how attractive it may seem... Sigh... ;)

DadsDinner said...

Gwen - Absolutely. The principle isn't always bad news, though. Sometimes, as I rush to do something by some ridiculous self-imposed deadline, I realise that I wouldn't expect anyone else to do the same. The realisation doesn't always make me chill but it usually let's me calm down a bit.

Mockingbird - Why hasn't the book been swooped on? Partly because it falls between genres and partly because I'm not called Jordan.

I'm not quite at the stage of a publicity-seeking boob job yet, though...