A land that's fair and bright

Dear Dave,

Have you ever considered that the world might be a better place if we put small children in charge?

Er, OK, maybe 'better' isn't exactly the right description. Obviously, if pre-schoolers ruled, then we'd rapidly find ourselves in a Big Rock Candy Mountain scenario with fewer cigarette trees but far more Liquorice Allsorts. Grown-ups would be forced to do ceaseless menial tasks, stopping only to feign delight as some passing four-year-old shouted, 'Look at me!' and then attempted a complicated trick, such as jumping into a muddy puddled, waving a stick or standing on one leg and then... falling... over... slowly...

This might not change our lives much but other people would probably get upset. The adults would stage a revolution after only a few hours and it would all end in tears, tantrums and early bedtimes. Nonetheless, the cleaning up would take weeks and the unwary would still be blundering into left-over sticky patches years later.

On many levels, putting children in charge would be a disaster. Still, it might be worth it, if a conversation I overheard recently is anything to go by:

"You're not my friend anymore," said one of Marie's nursery companions, Jasmine.

Marie was distraught. "Why not?"

Jasmine screwed up her face and stamped her foot. "Because you didn't say sorry."

"Well, I am sorry," said Marie with deep sincerity. "I'm very sorry."

"OK, you're my friend again," said Jasmine, matter-of-factly.

"Good," said Marie and they hugged. Then, as they walked off together, hand-in-hand, she added, "So what did I say sorry for?"

The dispute (whatever it was) was resolved quickly, the details didn't matter much and it was as if it had never happened. There wasn't even any mess involved. You have to admit that this makes a refreshing change from how things normally go on The Six O'clock News.

I definitely think there's a case for more under-fives in government...

Yours in a woman's world,

Ed.