Dear Dave

Thursday, 20 November 2008

Attack of the snot

Dear Dave,

Never tempt Fate. The poor girl has no self control. Give her a couple of vodka martinis and it can lead to all kinds of trouble...

I believe I mentioned last week that I hadn't had to use the buggy in months. I also commented to someone else that my family had been mysteriously well since the summer.

I suspect Marie may have inhaled some germs at that very moment.

Three days later and she now has a stinking cold. The kind where she lies around mournfully in a sleeping bag, demanding her nose be blown every three minutes. I spent the entire morning watching Bob the Builder with her sitting on my lap and a box of tissues by my side. When we went outside, she barely had energy to climb into the buggy, let alone scoot anywhere.

This afternoon I couldn't get warm. I put my thickest jumper on and that made no difference. I turned the heating up and that didn't help. I started wearing my coat, hat and scarf. I still felt cold... in the lounge... with the heating on... I finally had to resort to stuffing a hot water bottle down my shirt. I suspect that I may not be feeling that well by tomorrow morning.

To make matters worse, it turns out I'm old:

I've just done Fraser's homework with him. The textbook reads: 'Skin is elastic. If you pinch the skin on the back of your hand and let it go it springs back into place. An old person's skin does not spring back into place but forms wrinkles.'

Sure enough, his skin twanged back into shape instantly. Mine stayed in a sharply defined ridge long enough for me to forget why I was staring at it and wander off in search of some Werther's Originals.

I'm thirty-five and I'm falling apart.

I think I'll go and have a lie down.

Yours in a woman's world,

Ed.

4 comments:

Mockingbird said...

Hunny, I'm forty four (surely some editorial mistake by my creator)... and my skin can't spring anywhere, my rsi problems have seen to that... right now my knuckles look like I've gone several rounds with Mike Tyson.... *big hugs*.. I am largely immune to colds.....

Gwen said...

Oh, oh! I remember the last time you got sick - no weather channel girl for you! ;)

Just kidding - seriously, I hope you are able to fight it off. I'll try to send you some healthy vibes...

JenK said...

Why exactly is Fate a girl? I'm thinking male.
And angry at me.

DadsDinner said...

Thanks for the good wishes, everyone. The cold never got much worse in the end... but hasn't actually gone away yet either. If I had a paying job, I'd have claimed a bout of man flu and taken a day off to recover in front of the telly. (Mmmm... Weather...) As it was, I just cleaned the house.

PS Feel free to anthropomorphise your metaphysical constructs in whatever way seems most appropriate to you.