Dear Dave

Friday 21 December 2007

Two types of children

Dear Dave,

Thanks for asking how my attempts at consistency in childcare are progressing. Unfortunately, things could be going better. I've come to the conclusion that there are two types of children:

1. Those who don't do what they're told:
Cartoon of child balancing stuff on his head.

2. Those who do:

Cartoon of the whole family pretending to be Daleks.

Yours in a woman's world,


PS It's going to be a busy couple of weeks so I can't guarantee regular correspondence. I'll see what I can do, though. If you don't hear from me, don't worry, I'll be drinking beer, playing Zelda: Phantom Hourglass and eating mince pies...


Anonymous said...

That's all very well picking on the *ahem* innocent, but what about parents who can or can't follow *double ahem* instructions?
I got some ping pong balls. Non damage making, cheap, and you can draw little faces on them.
The littl'un comes through. ''Daddy do you want to play with me?'' (ie Daddy I want you to play with me) ''The two throwers sit at opposite ends of the room'', she explains, ''and try and get the ping pong balls in the other thrower's cup.'' Easy enough so far. ''If it goes in,then the thrower who throwed it gets a point,and the thrower who got it in his cup loses a point. If the ball hits off the side but doesn't go in,then that thrower gets another shot,and the other thrower loses a turn'' (a fair amount of duplication going on here) ''If the ball hits the cup-thrower's leg,then that one gets ten points. If it misses everything then both throwers get one hundred and one points. You can bounce it off the table,one bounce is an extra point,two bounces is more points but I'll say later how much. If the ball hits the wall then a person's head....'' It may be best if you do all the scoring, I say,and I'll help you add them up. ''No, you do it'' she demands. Ok. First throw hits the cup then her leg. ''That's ten points and I miss a turn,'' I say hopefully. ''No,silly. That one's got a girl's smiley face on it,so I also get ten points.'' So what happens if it's a boy's smiley face on it? I ask. ''Nothing yet,'' she sighs patiently. We got lost after a few throws- no, really? -and the game transcended into a battle between boy and girl ping pong balls with her as the teacher coming out to tell them all off.

DadsDinner said...

I think you'll find you were playing the basic rules. The Expert Edition is a lot more confusing...